When I first started this blog, I had no intention of sharing my struggles in real time.  I felt called to share a message of hope with those who found themselves in seemingly hopeless situations.  Five years ago, I was diagnosed with a very rare type of bone cancer and was unable to find anyone else who had survived it.  Thinking I was on the other side, I wanted to be a voice out there saying that Undifferentiated Pleomorphic Sarcoma of the bone is not a death sentence.  It isn’t!  But in the last 2 months I’ve had a reoccurrence scare, bone biopsy, and (unrelated) broken wrist.  The biopsy came back clear and the wrist is on the mend, but that doesn’t mean I sailed through the whole ordeal on a Hope Wave.  The amount of fear and anxiety that the shadow on my MRI caused is still hovering over me.  They want to repeat the scans in 3 months, just to make sure, and that hasn’t allowed the stress to subside.  Then, trying to relax from all that, I went to a spa and on day 1 slipped on their wet marble floor and broke my wrist.  I am quite aware that a broken wrist is not a matter of life and death, but it was just one more thing (and really inconvenient).

I share all this because I now realize my initial reason for starting this blog may not be the only reason for its existence.  Yes, I want to continue to be a voice of hope for people diagnosed with a rare cancer (or any other health challenge), but I also want to authentically share about the big, and not so big, events that shake our hope in the day to day.  Waiting for clear follow up scans or a bone to heal can lead to times where hope is elusive, but it is not lost.  Momentary, or not so momentary, feelings of hopelessness do not mean you are not hopeful.  It is not an all or nothing thing.  Choosing to remain hopeful, even when your emotions tell you otherwise, is not always easy, but it is always best.  The choice is ours.  So as this new year approaches, I wish you a very Hopeful New Year!!