When I was in school I never minded tests.  I actually looked forward to them.  I was one of those people who thrived under pressure and rose to the occasion.  Not that I didn’t do my part.  I attended all the classes, read the course material, completed the homework assignments, performed the lab work, and studied for the exams.  I did my part and I welcomed the opportunity to demonstrate that fact to my teachers (and myself).  I didn’t sit around worrying that the test would reveal that I was a failure, that I hadn’t done enough, that I was dumb or somehow unable to complete the coursework set before me.  I saw it as a chance to learn the lesson, demonstrate my comprehension, and move on to new material.  When did a test become more than a test?

As many of you may be aware, back in October I had my 5 year bone cancer scans and the MRI showed there may be something abnormal.  That sent me into a tailspin and led to many sleepless nights and a pelvis biopsy.  When the biopsy results came back clear the doctor seemed relieved (nothing compared to how I felt), but wanted to see me back in 3 months (end of January) to do another complete set of scans to be sure. I have been pretty stressed about this upcoming set of tests and then it occurred to me, it’s just a test.  I have done my part to prepare for these tests.  I have changed my diet, worked with a counselor on less than healthy emotional and stress patterns, read all sorts of books on health and healing, attended classes on heathy living and energy healing topics, taken advantage of alternative healing modalities (reiki, holistic nutritionist, massage, meditation), and prayed (a lot).  I am prepared.  Why is it, at this point in my life, I am worried about being tested?  This is just another opportunity to learn the lessons, demonstrate my mastery of the subject material, and move on.  What a difference that perspective makes.  I am going to choose to assign that meaning to the next set of scans.  Just an opportunity to demonstrate my comprehension of the lesson of the last 5 years.  I’m sure this is not going to be a once and done exercise, but why not look at it like an opportunity to prove I am still healthy and whole and not proof that I am somehow less than successful?  Sometimes a test is just a test.  Time to pass with flying colors and move on!!