It was six years ago and I was in the middle of 18 weeks of really tough chemotherapy.  Earlier that year I had reconnected with my first love and the love of my life.  I thought my happy ending was finally falling into place. And then, two months after getting engaged, I was diagnosed with a very rare form of bone cancer (Undifferentiated Pleomorphic Sarcoma).  The prognosis wasn’t very promising.  So after hurriedly scheduled surgery (a pelvic resection), the chemotherapy began. My hair began falling out the day after Thanksgiving, so I wasn’t feeling particularly thankful about that. By Christmas I was barely able to keep food down and got out of bed mainly for the numerous doctor’s appointments on my otherwise bare calendar.  As my friends were shopping for gifts, decorating their homes, and attending numerous holiday parties, I was lying in bed, trying to make it through another day.

Yet, during that time, there were many special Christmas memories forming.  I was unable to handle many smells, so my fiancé borrowed an artificial tree and decorated it as a surprise for me.  After he finished, he helped me downstairs to see his handiwork.  I was so grateful.  On Christmas Eve, he joined me on my hospital bed and we tracked Santa on the NORAD website until long after midnight, and then he kissed me a Merry Christmas.  He wanted to make sure I made as many Christmas memories as my health would allow.

I was not feeling at all thankful for the cancer or chemotherapy fallout, but I could give thanks for the special memories my wonderful fiancé created for me.  It was then I realized the huge difference between feeling thankful and giving thanks.  Joni Eareckson Tada describes these thoughts perfectly.

As a matter of fact, God isn’t asking you to be thankful. He’s asking you to give thanks. There’s a big difference. One response involves emotions, the other your choices, your decisions about a situation, your intent, your step of faith.

So, as you move through this holiday season, even if it is not everything you hoped it would be, remember to Give Thanks.  Notice that smile on a stranger’s face, the door held for you as you enter a building, the kind word from a friend, the helping hand extended by your family member.  The more examples you notice this holiday season the more likely you are to look back on this Christmas six years from now and realize that giving thanks, for the small and not so small things, creates some of your fondest Christmas memories.