I can’t believe I’m telling you this…

I will never forget that phone call for as long as I live. A week earlier I had undergone an open incision biopsy of a hole in my pelvic bone. (The miraculous story of how they found it in the first place is a story for another day.) My fiancé was met by the surgeon, following the biopsy, with positive news. The preliminary pathology showed nothing abnormal. I should expect a call in the next week giving me a clean bill of health and we could get on with our lives (and wedding plans). What actually happened couldn’t have been further from those sentiments.

The phone conversation went like this. “This is Dr. X. I can’t believe I’m telling you this.” The next sentence was communicated as one run-on thought. “You have Undifferentiated Pleomorphic Sarcoma of the pelvis, don’t google it!” No breath, just one run-on thought. He proceeded to explain it is a very aggressive and very rare form of bone cancer. It is so rare, in fact, that there is no approved protocol for treating it. They would do all that they could, but I had to enter treatment immediately. When I asked about survival stats there weren’t any, just a guess. Maybe 30%. I remember asking if he could provide me with a name of anyone who had received this diagnosis and had survived and he didn’t know of one. What was my first emotion? Hopelessness!! It’s so rare you don’t know how to treat it? It’s extremely aggressive, so I have to start something right away? You can’t point me to anyone else who has gone through this journey and has survived? I am here to tell you there is someone who has gone through this and has survived, me!! Doctors, no matter how well meaning, are not always right. I know this may be a new concept for some of you, but it is the truth. They only know what they know and new things are being discovered every day (not to mention determined patients who refuse to give up). So hold onto hope. There is always hope!!

 

Why am I blogging?

At times in my life when I find myself in situations that feel bigger than I can possibly navigate on my own and I’m feeling hopeless, I search for just one other person who has walked a similar road and has emerged on the other side still standing. I tell myself that if even one other person has lived through my situation, then there is a chance I can too. It is not enough to feed myself positive affirmations like “I am strong, I am a survivor.” I need to actually find another human being that I can talk with, to see how they did it and what worked for them. My desire for this blog is that I can provide that to others who may be in similar situations.

I remember so clearly when I was diagnosed with Undifferentiated Pleomorphic Sarcoma of the pelvis and called the American Cancer Society. I asked for any information they had on this rare form of bone cancer and if they could provide a contact of anyone who has survived this diagnosis. They could not. I asked my Orthopedic Oncological Surgeon the same question. Nothing. I googled it. Still nothing. I am here to say that diagnosis is not a death sentence!! I am still here!! There is hope!!