Be Still and Know

That’s a tough one for me.  You might wonder which part and my answer is “both.”  Let’s start with “Be Still.”  In this world, how is it possible to be still?  With the constant bombardment of 24/7 news, the ability to be connected anytime and anywhere, cell phones, emails, texts, Facebook, 100s of tv channels to choose from, the internet, and seemingly endless to-do lists, how can we possibly be still?  And then add in being raised in a household where accomplishments and “doing” were valued much more than simply “being,” coupled with my type A, driven personality type and it is a recipe for anything but stillness.  What if someone saw me being still and thought I was lazy?  What value would I bring to this world if I wasn’t accomplishing something?  Who am I if I am not defined by what I do?

Then there is the “and Know.”  Where do I begin with that one?  How do we ever really know?  We can evaluate as many pieces of data as we can gather and try to assemble some level of knowing, but can we ever truly know?  Growing up I remember being told to not be ruled by my emotions.  Decisions were to be made using my logical brain and were to be based on facts.  Gut instincts were devalued or ignored completely.  I learned at an early age that what you thought out was much more accurate than what you felt.  So back to my original question, how do you know?

The last 5 years have been a master’s level course in the importance of being still and knowing.  When you are faced with life and death situations, chronic pain, fear, and uncertainties you are forced to face the importance of finding some time and space to just be still.  Turn off the electronics, phone, tv, anything that keeps you frantically busy and just be still. I find it much easier when I remove myself from my day to day environment.  It seems that there are always too many things to keep my mind racing when I’m at home.  Sometimes that’s taking a drive, going for a walk (not that easy anymore with the neuropathy), or taking a much-needed vacation.  Whatever allows my mind to disengage.  I think that’s what’s really important.  When you can get out of your head, you can begin to be.  Intuition, a concept I never believed in until recently, can begin to surface.  That’s where true knowing comes in.  I am only beginning to experience intuition and it is thrilling each and every time I actually feel/sense it. People see intuition as coming from many different sources; God, the universe, our gut.  I don’t think it really matters what you call its source, I think it’s more important that you learn to feel/sense it.  When you feel your intuition deep inside there is a level of knowing that facts and figures can never provide.  So, my recommendation is to find a place where you can truly be still and go inside yourself.  Ask what you are to know today, and just listen.  Sometimes the answer is a feeling, an image, or a sense, but often there will be some sort of answer, if we are still.  I am just beginning this knowing journey, but it is so much more real and certain than any of my left brain, fact-based journey to this point. Give it a try.  Take a walk on a beach, sit by a mountain stream, visit a park and practice just being.  You may be pleasantly surprised by what you find.

 

Progress, not perfection

That’s a tough one for me.  You see, if I get 99% on the test of life, I will skim over that accomplishment and focus on the 1% I got wrong.  I know perfection is an elusive concept, but it doesn’t stop me from always trying to attain it.  That is where I find myself right now.  I have recently reached 2 big milestones, but I am spending my time and energy focused on how much further I have yet to go.  Do any of you do the same thing, or is it just me?  For your sake, I hope it’s just me.

As I mentioned in early blog posts, I broke my wrist in December and had to have follow-up bone cancer scans in January (from my biopsy scare in October).  The great news is my cast is off and my follow-up scans came back clear!!  Instead of savoring that news, I am now focusing on how far I have to go to get back strength and range of motion in my stiff and achy wrist and the fact that my cancer doctor wants to do yet another complete set of follow-up cancer scans in 3 more months, to be sure I am indeed all clear.  Don’t get me wrong, I am thrilled my cast is finally off and I am even more thrilled my January scans came back clear!!  Why can’t I just rest there for a while?  Instead, I’m on to the next thing that must be accomplished and must be accomplished right now.  Would I treat a friend this way?  Is that advice I would offer to a loved one?  No!  If a friend came to me with this perfectionistic attitude, I would tell her she should be so proud of all she’s already done and that trying to be perfect is not something to strive for, unless never succeeding is her top priority.  She needs to remember that that same strength that has gotten her this far will continue to carry her through all she has yet to complete.  That sounds like pretty good advice, doesn’t it?  Maybe I will try viewing myself through the eyes I use for those I love.  After all, shouldn’t we be kind to and love ourselves?  If perfection is something you struggle with, maybe you should give that perspective a try too.  Let’s all agree to begin viewing ourselves through a lens of grace.  Ahh, I feel lighter already.